Mac Leod's advice to couples considering marriage: “Men, the wedding is not a finish line. Ladies, the wedding is not the beginning of a ‘fix this man' project.
You will be happiest if you don't take on the job of changing him into something better.” — Rex Rutkoski Two respected Canadian economists have made it official: Happiness really is being married to your best friend.
Susan is an adjunct professor of English at Westmoreland County Community College and Pitt Greensburg; David is president of West Penn Power How to keep connected Couples experiencing the deepest levels of connection are the ones living beyond the legal “contract” of marriage and are truly best friends, suggests Ken Mac Leod.
The Highland Park resident, husband and father is deputy director of programming for Family Guidance's relationship education service, TWOgether Pittsburgh (twogetherpgh.org) “A solid marriage is made up of a husband and a wife who are in the habit of connecting in hundreds of tiny ways throughout each and every day,” he says.
This research suggests that friendship comes to infuse and enrich the most successful marriages.” They found that the perks of that friendship come into play especially strongly during middle age, when there is a tendency to experience a decrease in life satisfaction because of the stress of career and family demands.“Now it's 28 years and going strong, because we are not just married, we are soulmates and friends,” she says. dating seiten test Bonn “I think your spouse should be your friend first and foremost.“I can see her from across a room at a party and can just tell from the look on her face whether she needs rescued, wants to leave or is having the time of her life.” The couple, both 56, of Fallowfield, Washington County, are approaching their 33rd wedding anniversary on May 1. “I think that we work so well together because we both spend our days trying to make the other person happy,” says Mike. “Because we live it,” says the senior pastor at Bibleway Church, New Kensington, referring to his marriage of 40 years to wife Quandra Nickols, 61, who also is an ordained minister.“Best friends communicate and cherish relationships for long-term reasons.” “Quandra always has my best interest at heart and my role is to fulfill as many of her wishes as I can humanly do,” he says.
“When a couple gets married and finds out that they don't have magic, but rather have a roommate with some annoying habits, there is either going to be a readjustment of their expectations, or an increasing disappointment leading to seeking that magic somewhere else.” What we call friendship, he says, is a voluntary relationship between two people that provides some level of connection.A “best friend” would be the person with whom you have the deepest level of connection, he explains.“We took the vows seriously and have treasured our time together.” It is important to have a good sense of humor and be able to laugh together, says Sue, 65. They still chuckle about the time she spent an hour shoveling the driveway to surprise him when he came home from a tiring trip.Mitch Nickols and his wife, Quandra, attended the Urban Heroes Awards reception in Pittsburgh recently, where he was one of the honorees.
The heroes received medallions and are featured in a newly published book.“Friendship and marriage should be, and can be, sources of fun,” Helliwell says.“That kind of mutual respect, affection and laughter is the source of stronger friendships and stronger marriages, I suspect.” On this Valentine's Day, Pittsburgh-area couples, who consider their spouses their best friends, weigh in on these matters of the heart: Mike and Sharon Dorbritz Your best friend is the person in this world that you trust and depend on more than anyone else, Mike Dorbritz says.“He looked at the driveway and said, ‘You piled the snow in the wrong place!' Guess what, that was the last time I shoveled a driveway for him.” Amy and Harry Crisman Amy, 44, and Harry, 46, Crisman of Buffalo Township, Sarver, married at a young age, “Everyone told us it would never work,” says Amy.